From among countless rules in winning friends and gaining popularity, there is one that is basic, most important and most effective. It is in two parts.
The first part goes:
Always take every honest opportunity to say and do those things which make people feel bigger, better and more important.
And the second goes:
Never, unless it is absolutely necessary for their own good or unless circumstances allow no alternative, say or do things, even in a joke, which hurt people’s feelings, or which make him feel smaller, meaner or less important.
Not many of us will find it is easy and natural to observe something good about someone and compliment him for it. We have our own interests to serve. We do not have much time to look around for something good to tell about others. But if you really want to succeed with people, do this. Be careful though, not to make it sound like a flattery or even sarcasm. The other person usually knows his good and weak points. If you compliment him with something which is obviously untrue, it may defeat your purpose altogether. On the other hand, there are those who are called “ego trippers”. They seem to make it their business to humiliate or embarrass others with their tactless remarks especially in public.
Always apply the golden rule to make sure you observe the second part effectively. Do to others what you want done to you. Before doing or saying something, imagine being in the other person’s position and having the same attitude. It will be your basis for judging the rightness or wrongness of your comment or action. This is called empathy. People who empathize are very often very popular and happy people. They are considerate and under standing. They make people feel worthy. This is not an easy thing to do. But it can be done not only in the drive for success, but also for the virtue itself.
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