God created the donkey

and said to him.

"You will be a donkey. You will work un-tiringly from sunrise to sunset

carrying burdens on your back. You will eat grass,

you will have no intelligence and you will live 50 years."

The donkey answered:

"I will be a donkey, but to live 50 years is much. Give me only 20 years"

God granted his wish.

.........................................................................................

God created the dog

and said to him:

"You will guard the house of man. You will be his best Friend.

You will eat the scraps that he gives you and you will live 30 years.

You will be a dog. "

The dog answered:

"Sir, to live 30 years is too much,give me only 15 years.

" God granted his wish.

..........................................................................................

God created the monkey

and said to him:

"You will be a monkey. You will swing from branch to branch doing tricks.

You will be amusing and you will live

20 years. "

The monkey answered:

"To live 20 years is too much, give me only 10 years."

God granted his wish.

.........................................................................................

Finally God created man ...

and said to him:

"You will be man, the only rational creature on the face of the earth.

You will use your intelligence to become master over all the animals.

You will dominate the world and you will live 20 years."

Man responded:

"Sir, I will be a man but to live only

20 years is very little,

give me the 30 years that the donkey refused,

the 15 years that the dog did not want and

the 10 years the monkey refused.

" God granted man's wish

........................................................................................

And since then, man lives

20 years as a man ,

marries and spends

30 years like a donkey,

working and carrying all the burdens on his back.

Then when his children are grown,

he lives 15 years like a dog taking care of the house

and eating whatever is given to him,

so that when he is old,

he can retire and live 10 years like a monkey,

going from house to house and from one son or

daughter to another doing tricks to amuse his grandchildren.

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like.

You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you are.

You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be going or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared.

You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all. You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused.

Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent
enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.

You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you can not seem to make a decision. You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. We are making a lot of mistakes, but helping one another learn from them and reaching out to pull one another up. We are not the shiniest group of people, but are very much a circle. We are there for one another and will listen and grow for the rest of our lives. We will piss one another off, but we will also heal one another's hearts. We are the group who sometimes doesn't need words but will laugh at the end of a conversation that started with
angry words.

We are friends and in 10 years, when we have figured out where we fit in this world, we will still be friends always 

By Ken Gaub

At the time I was driving on 1-75 near Dayton, Ohio, with my
wife and children. We turned off the highway for a rest and
refreshment stop. My wife Barbara and children went into the
restaurant. I suddenly felt the need to stretch my legs, so waved
them off ahead saying I'd join them later. I bought a soft drink,
and as I walked toward a Dairy Queen, feelings of self pity enshrouded
my mind. I loved the Lord and my ministry, but I felt drained, burdened.
My cup was empty. Suddenly the impatient ringing of a telephone nearby
jarred me out of my doldrums. It was coming from a phone booth at a
service station on the corner. Wasn't anyone going to answer the phone?
Noise from the traffic flowing through the busy intersection must have
drowned out the sound because the service station attendant continued
looking after his customers, oblivious to the incessant ringing.
"Why doesn't somebody answer that phone?" I muttered. I began
reasoning. It may be important. What if it's an emergency? Curiosity
overcame my indifference. I stepped inside the booth and picked up
the phone. "Hello," I said casually and took a big sip of
my drink. The operator said: "Long distance call for Ken Gaub."
My eyes widened, and I almost choked on a chunk of ice. Swallowing hard,
I said, "You're crazy!" Then realizing I shouldn't speak to an
operator like that, I added, "This can't be! I was walking down the road,
not bothering anyone, and the phone was ringing..." "Is Ken Gaub there?"
the operator interrupted. "I have a long distance call for him."
It took a moment to gain control of my babbling, but I finally replied,
"Yes, he is here." Searching for a possible explanation,
I wondered if I could possibly be on Candid Camera! Still shaken,
perplexed, I asked, "How in the world did you reach me here?
I was walking down the road, the pay phone started ringing, and I
just answered it on chance. You can't mean me."
"Well," the operator asked, "is Mr. Gaub there or isn't he?" "Yes, I am
Ken Gaub," I said, finally convinced by the tone of her voice that
the call was real. Then I heard another voice say, "Yes, that's him,
operator. That's Ken Gaub." I listened dumb-founded to a strange voice
identify herself. "I'm Millie from Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. You don't
know me, Mr. Gaub, but I'm desperate. Please help me." "What can I
do for you?" She began weeping. Finally she regained control and
continued. "I was about to commit suicide, had just finished writing
a note, when I began to pray and tell God I really didn't want to do this.
Then I suddenly remembered seeing you on television and thought if I could
just talk to you, you could help me. I knew that was impossible because I
didn't know how to reach you, I didn't know anyone who could help me find you.
Then some numbers came to my mind, and I scribbled them down." At this
point she began weeping again, and I prayed silently for wisdom to help her.
She continued, "I looked at the numbers and thought, couldn't it be
wonderful if I had a miracle from God, and He has given me Ken's phone
number? I decided to try calling it. I can't believe I'm talking to you.
Are you in your office in California?" I replied, "Lady, I don't have
an office in California. My office is in Yakima, Washington." A little
surprised, she asked, "Oh really, then where are you?"
"Don't you know?" I responded. "You made the call."
She explained, "But I don't even know what area I'm calling.
I just dialed the number that I had on this paper." "Ma'am, you
won't believe this, but I'm in a phone booth in Dayton Ohio!"
"Really?" she exclaimed. "Well, what are you doing there?"
I kidded her gently, "Well, I'm answering the phone. It was ringing
as I walked by, so I answered it." Knowing this encounter could only
have been arranged by God, I began to counsel the woman. As she told me
of her despair and frustration, the presence of the Holy Spirit flooded
the phone booth giving me words of wisdom beyond my ability. In a matter
of moments, she prayed the sinner's prayer and met the One who would
lead her out of her situation into a new life. I walked away from that
telephone booth with an electrifying sense of our heavenly Father's
concern for each of His children. What were the astronomical odds of
this happening. With all the millions of phones and innumerable
combinations of numbers, only an all-knowing God could have caused
that woman to call THAT number, in THAT phone booth, at THAT moment
in time. Forgetting my drink and nearly bursting with exhilaration,
I headed back to my family, wondering if they would believe my
story. Maybe I better not tell this I thought, but I couldn't contain
it. "Barb, you won't believe this! God knows where I am!"

It is the year 2004 and Noah lives in the
PHILIPPINES. The Lord
speaks
to Noah and says: "In one year I am going to make it
rain and cover the
whole

earth with water until all is destroyed. But I
want you to save the
righteous people and two of every kind of living
thing on the earth.

Therefore, I am commanding you to build an
Ark." In a flash of
lightning, God delivered the specifications for an
Ark. Fearful and
trembling, Noah

took the plans and agreed to build the Ark.
"Remember," said the
Lord,
"You must complete the Ark and bring everything
aboard in one year."

Exactly one year later, a fierce storm cloud
covered the earth and
all
the seas of the earth went into tumult. The Lord saw
Noah sitting in his
front

yard weeping. "Noah." He shouted, "Where is the
Ark?" "Lord please
forgive me!" cried Noah. "I did my best but there
were big problems.

First, I had to get a Mayor's permit for
construction and your plans
"did not comply with the codes". I had to hire their
"engineering firm"
and

"redraw" the plans. Then I got into a fight
with Municipal Fire
Safety
Inspector over whether or not the Ark needed a fire
sprinkler system and

extinguishers. Then my neighbor objected,
claiming I was violating
zoning ordinances by building the Ark in my front
yard, so I had to get a
permit

from the municipal planning office. I had
problems getting enough
wood
for the Ark, because there was a ban on cutting trees
to protect the

Monkey-Eating Eagle. I finally convinced the
DENR that I needed the
wood to save the eagles. However, the DENR won't let
me catch any eagles.

So, no eagles. The carpenters formed a union
and went out on strike.
I
had to negotiate a settlement with the KMU. Now I
have 16 carpenters on
the
Ark, but

still no eagles. When I started rounding up the
other animals, I got
sued by an animal rights group. They objected to me
only taking two of
each
kind

aboard. Just when I got the suit dismissed, the
DENR again notified
me
that I could not complete the Ark without filing an
environmental impact

assessment on your proposed flood. They didn't
take very kindly to
the
idea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct
of the Creator of the

universe. Then the DPWH demanded a map of the
proposed new flood
plan.
I sent them a globe. Right now, I am trying to
resolve a complaint

filed with the DOLE that I am practicing
discrimination by not
taking
godless, unbelieving people aboard! The BIR has
seized all my assets,
claiming

that I'm building the Ark in preparation to
flee the country to
avoid
paying taxes. I just got a notice from the BIR that I
owe some kind of
user
tax

and failed to register the Ark as a
recreational water craft."

The NBI and ISAFP each wanted a piece of the
action alleging that
the
Ark would be used by the Magdalo soldiers to escape.
The PNP on the other
hand insists

that Al-Ghozi might use the Ark to flee to
Indonesia. Malacanang
sees
the opportunity to use the Ark for GMA's Strong
Republic Nautical Highway
presidential

campaign sorties.

Finally the Senate got the courts to issue a
TRO against further
construction of the Ark, saying that since God is
flooding the earth, it
is
a religious event and

therefore unconstitutional.

I really don't think I can finish the Ark for
another 10 or 16
years!"

Noah wailed. The sky began to clear, the sun
began to shine and the
seas began to calm. A rainbow arched across the sky.
Noah looked up
hopefully.

"You mean you are not going to destroy the
earth, Lord?" "No," said
the Lord sadly...."The government is already doing
that."

>> TEACHER : Why are you late?
>> BALGOBIN : Because of the sign.
>> TEACHER : What sign?
>> BALGOBIN : The one that says, "School Ahead, Go
>> Slow."
>>
>> TEACHER : Balgobin, why are you doing your math sums
>> on the floor?
>> BALGOBIN : You told me to do it without using
>> tables!
>>
>> TEACHER : Balgobin, how do you spell "crocodile"?
>> BALGOBIN : "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
>> TEACHER : No, that's wrong
>> BALGOBIN : Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I
>> spell it!
>>
>> TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
>> BALGOBIN : "HIJKLMNO! "!!
>> TEACHER : What are you talking about?
>> BALGOBIN : Yesterday you said it's H to O!
>>
>> TEACHER : Balgobin, go to the map and find North
>> America.
>> BALGOBIN : Here it is!
>> TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered
>> America?
>> CLASS : Balgobin!
>>
>> TEACHER : Balgobin, name one important thing we have
>> today that we
>> didn't have ten years ago.
>> BALGOBIN : Me!
>>
>> TEACHER : Balgobin, why do you always get so dirty?
>> BALGOBIN : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than
>> you are.
>>
>> BALGOBIN : Dad, can you write in the dark?
>> FATHER : I think so. What do you want me to write?
>> BALGOBIN : Your name on this report card.
>>
>> TEACHER : How can you prevent diseases caused by
>> biting insects?
>> BALGOBIN : Don't bite any.
>>
>> TEACHER : Balgobin, give me a sentence starting with
>> "I".
>> BALGOBIN : I is... TEACHER ! : No, Balgobin. Always
>> say, "I am."
>> BALGOBIN : All right... "I am the ninth letter of
>> the alphabet."
>>
>> TEACHER : "Can anybody give an example of
>> "COINCIDENCE?"
>> BALGOBIN : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on
>> the same day, same
>> time."
>>
>> TEACHER : "George Washington not only chopped down
>> his father's Cherry
>> tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know
>> why his father didn't
>> punish him?"
>> BALGOBIN : "Because George still had the axe in his
>> hand?"
>>
>> BALGOBIN : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
>> FATHER : No. Why do you ask that?
>> BALGOBIN : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
>>
>> TEACHER : What a pair of strange socks you are
>> wearing, one is green and
>> one is blue with red spots!
>> BALGOBIN : Yes it's really strange. I've got another
>> pair just like that
>> at home.!
>>
>> TEACHER : Now, children, if I saw a man beating a
>> donkey and stopped
>> him, what virtue would I be showing?
>> BALGOBIN : Brotherly love?
>>
>> TEACHER : Now, Balgobin, tell me frankly do you say
>> prayers before
>> eating?
>> BALGOBIN : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good
>> cook.
>>
>> TEACHER : Balgobin, your composition on "My Dog" is
>> exactly the same as
>> your brother's. Did you copy his?
>> BALGOBIN : No, teacher, it's the same dog!
>>
>> TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on
>> talking when people are
>> no longer interested?
>> BALGOBIN : A teacher

Grandpa, some ninety plus years, sat feebly on the patio bench. He
didn't move, just sat with his head down staring at his hands.

When I sat down beside him, he didn't acknowledge my presence, and
the longer I sat I wondered if he was OK.

Finally, not really wanting to disturb him but wanting to check on
him at the same time, I asked him if he was OK.

He raised his head, looked at me and smiled.

"Yes, I'm fine, thank you for asking," he said in a clear,strong
voice.

"I didn't mean to disturb you, grandpa, but you were just sitting
here staring at your hands and I wanted to make sure you were all
right," I explained to him.

"Have you ever looked at your hands?" he asked. "I mean really looked
at your hands?"

I slowly opened my hands and stared down at them. I turned them over,
palms up and then palms down. No, I guess I had never really looked
at my hands as I tried to figure out the point he was making.

Grandpa smiled and related this story:

"Stop and think for a moment about the hands you have, how they have
served you well throughout your years. These hands, though wrinkled,
shriveled and weak have been the tools I have used all my life to
reach out and grab and embrace life.

They braced and caught my fall when as a toddler I crashed upon the
floor. They put food in my mouth and clothes on my back. As a child
my mother taught me to fold them in prayer. They tied my shoes and
pulled on my boots. They held my rifle and wiped my tears when I went
off to war.

They have been dirty, scraped and raw, swollen and bent. They were
uneasy and clumsy when I tried to hold my newborn son. Decorated with
my wedding band they showed the world that I was married and loved
someone special. They wrote the letters home and trembled and shook
when I buried my parents and spouse and walked my daughter down the
aisle. Yet, they were strong and sure when I dug my buddy out of a
foxhole and lifted a plow off of my best friend's foot.

They have held children, consoled neighbors, and shook in fists of
anger when I didn't understand. They have covered my face, combed my
hair, and washed and cleansed the rest of my body. They have been
sticky and wet, bent and broken, dried and raw. And to this day when
not much of anything else of me works real well these hands hold me
up, lay me down, and again continue to fold in prayer.

These hands are the mark of where I've been and the ruggedness of my
life.

But more importantly it will be these hands that God will reach out
and take when He leads me home. And with my hands He will lift me to
His side, and there I will use these hands to touch the face of
Christ."

I will never look at my hands the same again. But I remember God
reached out and took my grandpa's hands and led him home.

When my hands are hurt or sore, or when I stroke the face of my
children and wife, I think of grandpa. I know he has been stroked and
caressed and held by the hands of God.

I, too, want to touch the face of God and feel His hands upon my face.



May the Lord Bless and Keep you.

There were two nuns...

One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM),

and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).

It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for
The past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes
at the most! What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

SM: It's not working.

SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only
logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and
I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.



Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is
worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.

Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here!
Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened.
The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run
as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And?

SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.

SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?

SL: The only logical thing to do.
I lifted my dress up.

SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do.
He pulled down his pants.



SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn't it logical, Sister?
A nun with her dress up can run faster than man
with his pants down.

And for those of you who thought it would be dirty,

Say two Hail Mary!

PARA SA MGA SINGLE D'YAN!!!!!

Mga Dahilan Kung Bakit Single Ka Pa Rin


Ilang ulit na bang nangyari sa iyo ito? Ngayon ang
kasal ng pinsan mo.
Heto ka ang ganda ganda mo. Naghanda ka talaga dahil
minsan-minsan lang
ang okasyon sa pamilya nyo. Kadalasan sa mga lamay
na lang kayo
nagkikita-kita so ngayong kasal ng pinsan mo, gusto
mo namang maging
maganda at mapansin nila. Aba, napansin ka nga.
Ganito ang tanong ng
lahat ng kaanak mo sa iyo..."O ikaw kelan ka
ikakasal?" "Uy, ikaw na ang
susunod ano?" Parang gusto mo na sa susunod na lamay
sila naman ang
sabihan mo ng "Ikaw, kelan ka susunod?"





Huwag kang malungkot. Ito gusto nga kitang sumaya
kaya sinulat ko ito.
Hindi ka dapat malungkot dahil maraming posibleng
dahilan bakit hindi ka
pa kinakasal hanggang ngayon. Hayaan mo silang mainip
sa paghihintay.
Basta kung okay ka, okay ka. Hayaan mo tulungan kita
mag-isip kung bakit
wala ka pa ring asawa hanggang ngayon. Naisip ko na
'yan eh. Ito ang
sampung dahilan bakit wala pa.





1. Kailangan mong mag-concentrate sa career.

Hindi na uso ang mga babaeng pambahay ngayon.
Kalimitan meron ng
tinatawag na career. Habang hindi ka pa
tinatamaan ng palaso ni
kupido, hamo na munang magconcentrate ka sa trabaho
mo. Kailangan mong
ma-achieve ang full potential mo bago ka mag-asawa,
kasi 'pag nag-asawa
ka na, tanggapin na natin, iba na ang mga prioridad
mo sa buhay. Lagi ng
mauuna ang pamilya. Habang feel mo pang lumaban ng
lumaban sa rat race
at umakyat ng umakyat sa corporate ladder, huwag
mong panghinayangan na
wala ka pang sariling pamilya. - SANA
PAGBABA KO NG LADDER E MAY KA AGE PA KONG AVAILABLE
O KAYA SANA DUN NA
KAMI SA LADDER MAGKASALUBONG HEHE





2. Masyadong mataas ang standards mo.

Ibaba mo kasi ng konti, baka naman kahit si Rizal
hindi ma-achieve yung
standards mo. Tandaan mo, si Rizal kahit na bayani
medyo babaero din.
Walang taong perpekto. Kahit naman ikaw di ba? Meron
ka ding kapintasan?
Baba mo ng konti, yung makatarungang pamantayan
lang. Baka naman
naghahanap ka ng Brad Pitt eh di ka naman si
Angelina Jolie. Lumagay
ka lang sa dapat mong kalagyan. Baka naman
naghahanap ka ng kasing yaman
ni Zobel eh ikaw naman eh pobre din lang naman.
Huwag. Huwag ganoon.
Para kang g**o non. Baka naman naghahanap ka ng
smart, na gwapong,
mayaman. Ate, kung ganon ang hanap mo, malamang
tatandang dalaga ka na
talaga. Di lahat binibigay ni Lord. Di bale kung
salat sa face value,
babawi na lang siguro yung sa bait at sa talino.
Kung puro face value
naman, at salat sa kaalaman or masama ang ugali,
manalig ka na lang na
baka pag pinakain mo ng gulay tumalino or ito the
best, lahat naman ng
tao nagbabago. Pwede pa 'yan bumait. - DAMI KO NA
NGANG KINUMPROMISE NA
STANDARDS E :-p





3. Hindi ka lumalabas ng bahay.

O baka lumalabas ka nga ng bahay, sa opisina lang
naman ang punta mo.
Huwag ganon. Sumama ka sa mga kaibigan mo, mag-mall
ka, magsimba ka,
mag-outreach program ka. Huwag mong panisin ang
sarili mo sa bahay dahil
wala talagang makakapansin sas
iyo sa bahay. Mag-aral ka ng painting, voice lessons
at Yoga. Imaginin
mo kung magka-boyfriend ka na Yoga master? or di
kaya, chef. O di ba
cool 'yun? Magliwaliw ka sa bookstores, sa coffee
shops, at kung
saan-saan pang mataong lugar. Baka sakali mapansin
ka doon. - DAIG KO PA
C ROSANA ROCES SA PAGIGING CURACHA, DI KO PA NGA
LANG NAGAGAWAN MAG
PAINTING, VOICE LESSONS AT YOGA




4. Baka naman sobrang tapang mo.

Oo nga naman, baka naman sobrang masungit ka at
natatakot sa iyo ang mga
potential
suitors mo. Baka dapat kang maging approachable ng
konti. Baka masyadong
maangas
ang dating mo imbis na matuwa sa iyo matakot. Baka
sobrang independent
mo, at
parang mabubuhay ka ng wala silang lahat. Minsan may
epekto rin 'yan.
Baka
sobrang talino ng dating mo pakiramdam nila mababara
lang sila or baka
'pag pinadalhan ka ng love letter eh i-edit mo ng
red ink pen.
Magkunwari ka kayang t**** minsan-minsan, tingin mo?
- GUILTY MINSAN NGA
NAG EDIT AKO AT SINABI KO PA SORI... SORI....





5. Baka naman kasi losyang ka.

Oo nga naman, mag-ayos ka paminsan-minsan kay lang
kung pangit ka,
pangit ka talaga. No amount of make up can change
that. Pero at least
pwede ma-enhance ng konti. - 2X NA NAMAN AKO
NAGSUSUKLAY NGAYON A, DATI
NGA ONCE LANG E





6. Baka naman hinahanapan pa ni Lord ng ribbon ang
para sa iyo.

Natatandaan ko ang sabi ng kaibigan ko. Blessing daw
from the Lord ang
mga girlfriends/boyfriends. O eh baka naman
hinahanapan pa ni Lord ng
magandang ribbon yung regalo mo. Kasi baka daw 'pag
hinarap ang
packaging i-reject mo. - KOREK! PWDE NAMANG
ORDINARY LNG PACKAGING
BASTA MAGANDA NASA LOOB :):):)





7. Baka naman nagtitipid sa toll fee yung para sa
iyo.

Malay mo kasi taga-Norte yung para sa iyo eh mahal
naman ang toll fee.
Baka nagtitipid dumaan sa walang toll kaya medyo
natatagalan. - BKA NGA
SA MIDDLE EAST
GALING, NAPAGOD ANG KAMELYO AT TULUYAN NG NA
STRANDED SA DISYERTO





8. Baka naglakad yung para sa iyo.

Parating na 'yon kaya lang mahal ang gasolina so
naglakad na lang
papunta sa iyo. Besides, walking is good for the
heart daw. Baka sa
kakalakad naligaw na. Ito pa namang mga lalaking
ito, hindi magtatanong
kung hindi pakiramdam nila naliligaw na sila. -
DAPAT KASI BUMILI SIYA
NG MAPA




9. Baka naman sadyang torpe lang yung para sa iyo.

Baka naman nag-iipon pa ng lakas ng loob o di kaya
nag-iisip pa ng
magandang tiyempo. Baka talagang hindi lang siya
makapag-salita dahil
sobrang mahiyain niya. Baka naman dapat makiramdam
ka rin ng konti kasi
talagang deadma ang dating nito. Baka dapat
tinatanong ng unti-unti. -
DINERETSO KO NGA KASO, IBA ANG TYPE (PAPA RIN, MUJER
PALA)





10. Baka naman talagang for single blessedness ka.

Ipagdasal mo. Baka naman kasi pinapagod mo ang
sarili mong kakaisip
bakit you're still single eh hindi naman kasi
marriage ang plan ni Lord
for you. Paminsan-minsan magtanong ka kasi sa Kanya
baka naman ikaw ang
naliligaw. Baka naman ikaw ang nagtitipid. Baka
naman kasi ikaw ang
torpe. Baka naman kasi ikaw ang problema.

- PAG GANITO NANGYARI
MAGTATAYO NA LANG AKO NG HOME FOR THE SINGLE AGED MEN
WOMEN WANNA JOIN, HAHA





Gasgas man, pero sasabihin ko pa rin. Darating Din
Yun. Kung para sa
iyo, para sa iyo. Kahit iwasan mo, para talaga sa
iyo. - SANA PAGDATING
NYA DI MO NA KAILANGANG PAKULUAN SA PRESSURE COOKER
ANG MATRES MO HAHAHA

 

~DEATH~

  

WHAT A WONDERFUL WAY TO EXPLAIN IT !!!!!

 

A sick man turned to his doctor,

as he was preparing to leave the examination room and said,
"Doctor, I am afraid to die.

Tell me what lies on the other side."

Very quietly, the doctor said, "I don't know."

"You don't know?

You, a Christian man, do not know what is on the other side?"

The doctor was holding the handle of the door;

on the other side came a sound of scratching and whining,

and as he opened the door,

a dog sprang into the room

and leaped on him with an eager show of gladness.

Turning to the patient, the doctor said,

"Did you notice my dog?

He's never been in this room before.
He didn't know what was inside.

He knew nothing except that his master was here,

and when the door opened, he sprang in without fear.

I know little of what is on the other side of death,

but I do know one thing...

I know my Master is there and that is enough."

READ AND RETURN

(sorry - cannot break this)

May today there be peace within you.

May you trust God that you are exactly

where you are meant to be.
I believe that friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet

when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

>>
>>-
>> By all Means... MARRY!
>>
>>I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be
>>why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
>>David Bissonette
>>

>>When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him
>>keep her.
>>Sacha Guitry
>>

>>After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just
>>can't face each other, but still they stay together.
>>Hemant Joshi
>>

>>By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a
>>bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
>>Socrates
>>

>>Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
>>Dumas
>>

>>The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What
>>does a woman want?
>>Sigmund Freud
>>

>>I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
>>Anonymous
>>

>>"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a
>>restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and
>>dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
>>Henry Youngman
>>

>>"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
>>Sam Kinison
>>

>>"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic
>>banking. It's called marriage."
>>James Holt McGavran
>>

>>"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the
>>second one didn't."
>>Patrick Murray
>>

>>Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
>>1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
>>2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
>>Nash
>>

>>The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it
>>once...
>>Anonymous
>>

>>You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
>>Henny Youngman
>>

>>My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
>>Rodney Dangerfield
>>

>>A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
>>Milton Berle
>>
>>Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
>>Anonymous
>>

>>A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he
>>received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have
>>mine."
>>Anonymous
>>

>>First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
>>Second Guy "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
>>
>>

DID YOU KNOW THESE FACTS?


I SURE DIDNT TILL NOW


Death is certain but the Bible speaks about untimely death!


Make a personal reflection about this.....


Very interesting, read until the end.....



It is written in the Bible (Galatians 6:7):


'Be not deceived; God is not mocked:

for whatsoever a man sow,

that shall he also reap.



Here are some men and women


who mocked God :


John Lennon (Singer):


Some years before, during his interview with an American Magazine, he said:

'Christianity will end, it will disappear.

I do not have to argue about

that. I am certain.


Jesus was ok, but his subjects were too simple, today we are more famous than Him' (1966).


Lennon, after saying that the Beatles were more famous than Jesus Christ, was shot six times.



Tancredo Neves (President of Brazil ):


During the Presidential campaign, he said if he got 500,000 votes from his party, not even God would remove him from Presidency.


Sure he got the votes, but he got sick a day before being made President, then he died.




Cazuza (Bi-sexual Brazilian composer, singer and poet):



During A show in Canecio ( Rio de Janeiro ),


while smoking his cigarette, he puffed out some smoke into the air and said:'God, that's for you.'


He died at the age of 32 of LUNG CANCER in a horrible manner.




The man who built the Titanic


After the construction of Titanic, a reporter asked him how safe the Titanic would be.


With an ironic tone he said:


'Not even God can sink it'


The result: I think you all know what happened to the Titanic




Marilyn Monroe (Actress)



She was visited by Billy Graham during a presentation of a show.


He said the Spirit of God had sent him to preach to her.



After hearing what the Preacher had to say, she said:


'I don't need your Jesus'.



A week later, she was found dead in her apartment




Bon Scott (Singer)


The ex-vocalist of the AC/DC. On one of his 1979 songs he sang:


'Don't stop me; I'm going down all the way, down the highway to hell'.



On the 19th of February 1980, Bon Scott was found dead, he had been choked by his own vomit.




Campinas (IN 2005)


In Campinas , Brazil a group of friends, drunk, went to pick up a friend.....



The mother accompanied her to the car and was so worried about the drunkenness of her friends and she said to the daughter holding her hand, who was already seated in the car:



'My Daughter, Go With God And May He Protect You.'



She responded: 'Only If He (God) Travels In The Trunk, Cause Inside Here..... It's Already Full '



Hours later, news came by that they had been involved in a fatal accident, everyone had died,



the car could not be recognized what type of car it had been, but surprisingly, the trunk was intact.




The police said there was no way the trunk could have remained intact. To their surprise, inside the trunk was a crate of eggs, none was broken




Christine Hewitt (Jamaican Journalist and entertainer)


said the Bible (Word of God) was the worst book ever written.



In June 2006 she was found burnt beyond recognition in her motor vehicle.




Many more important people have forgotten that there is no other name that was given so much authority as the name of Jesus.




Many have died, but only Jesus died and rose again, and he is still alive.




'Jesus'




I have done my part, Jesus said

'If you are embarrassed about me,




I will also be embarrassed about you before my father.'



I'M TOLD THIS WORKS!!!!! Bishop T.D. Jakes '8 Second Prayer.' Just repeat this prayer and see how God moves!!





'Lord, I love you and I need you, come into my heart, and bless me, my family, my home, and my friends, in Jesus' name. Amen.'