After years of marriage, many couples are out of the habit. Caught in the aftermath of neglect, they somehow lose the knack. A predictable pattern that can bring sudden death to relationship.
Now, how do we preserve marriage? For like us who are married, we should know how to nourish it and preserve it. And for those couples, who have a hanging relationship, there is a great deal that you both can do to improve it and the good news is that is never too late to begin.
Here are powerful ways to preserve your marriage and endure that your relationship remains healthy and vibrant across the years.
Nurture the spiritual side of your marriage.
Marriages benefit when couples shape their common life together by the various biblical passages that call them to authenticate ways of living and relating. Here are some examples. Honor one another above yourselves. Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. Live out in your marriage the biblical call for humility. Do nothing out in selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than you.
Make your relationship the top priority.
Avoid taking the relationship for granted. Don’t permit a myriad of external activities to infringe on the priority or your marriage. If they are not carefully monitored, a wide range of activities can slip in and erode time from you and your partner.
Be each other’s best friend.
To be each other’s best friend, couples need to consistently offer each other trust, caring, confidentiality, expression of deepest feelings and thoughts, respectful listening and fun together.
Be quick with forgiveness.
This is essential for healing the hurts within a relationship. A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers. Without the balm of forgiveness, both partners are left hurt and struggling. When you choose to bear anger at your partner, you build a wall around yourself.
Overlook slights and irritations.
Avoid going into battle mode over very irritation that comes via your partner. Be selective about what’s really worth discussing and working on. Mull over what really matters.
Learn to fight fair.
Really listen. Don’t attack. Never threaten to end relationship.
Avoid perfectionism.
Take care not to seek perfectionism in yourself or your partner. It’s terrific to have high standards, principles and policies but not so high as to be unreachable and not so rigid as to be inflexible and unbending. If you expect perfection, you’re sitting yourself up for a life of discontent.
Never go to bed angry.
Accentuate the positive.
Finally, always work to nurture your hopes, not hurts. Whenever you become frustrated with your relationship or angry at your partner, take a breath and pause to place the focus on your hope, not your hurt. Even though there may be present pain, work toward and anticipate a god outcome. Faith, hope and love from a powerful trinity for sustaining and transforming relationships.
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